


three letters alvin sent, and one he didn’t

by sureimiku



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Character Study, Found Family, Gen, Letters, Tales of Xillia Spoilers, alvin’s not havin a fun time, at least until the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:27:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sureimiku/pseuds/sureimiku
Summary: How do you fit what you wanted to say for twenty years into one letter?{day 5 of xillia week; leronde/family}
Comments: 12
Kudos: 12
Collections: Tales of Xillia Week





	three letters alvin sent, and one he didn’t

**Author's Note:**

> i always think about how during your first playthrough, you'd think that the person alvin sending letters to was presa, but it was his mother the entire time... and how he had to lie to her all the time for her own sake. so i ended up writing a fic about those same letters and how they probably would have went, given the timing in the game.
> 
> thank you for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3

_My dearest,_

_The spirit climes around here are beginning to settle in, and_ _the seasons are changing as swiftly as ever. It’s strange, being able to see all the seasons compared to living in Elympios. The skies turn deep green to clear blue; the weather rainy, windy, warm enough to make you melt._

_School is going good. I've met some people, left some people. Maybe I could introduce you to them someday._

_It’s hard, not being able to see you anymore. I hope this letter finds you well and safe, until the next time we meet._

_Love,_

_Alfred._

Alvin signs his name off with the same cursive as ever, putting an emphasis on the _love_. Writing letters to his mother had been an almost monthly occurrence for him, but with that arrived the pain of having to lie over and over again, for her own sake. At least, Leticia knowing her son was safe would put her at ease in that stuffy room. Rolling the paper into a scroll and tying it with the usual brown ribbon, he sends the sylphjay off to its next destination. 

“Who are you writing to?” Jude can’t help but wonder who Alvin is being so formal and kind with, in the form of a _letter._ It had to be a woman, right? Maybe a friend or a lover? 

“It’s...someone important.” He can’t really find a way to brush it off. “Just checking to see if they’re doing fine.”

“Oh, that’s sweet of you. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.” Thankfully, the boy rolled with it and stopped his curiosity from running wild like it always did. The mercenary wasn’t ready to open that side of him up just yet, which would be a floodgate when the time came; Leticia, the whole fiasco with Gilland, _Elympios._ Maybe someday he would be able to tell everyone without spilling over, when they could faithfully put their trust in him. Because now...now was not a good time. 

_I’m sure they’ll appreciate it._

He decides to start his next letter differently. 

* * *

_Mother,_

_Work has been...pretty rough lately. On the brighter side,_

_I’ve started keeping kitties lately. One has dark colored fur and piercing yellow eyes— that one’s Jude, and the other has tan fur with orange spots— I named that one Milla. A few other cats have come and left but those two… I feel like they’ll stick around for a while. You don’t have to worry about me anymore; it gets lonely sometimes, but having some close kitties makes it all the better._

_I hope you’re doing okay. Hang in there for me, okay? I’ll be home soon._

_Love,_

_Alfred._

This letter is more light hearted than the last. Their once small group had expanded to six, with the latest addition of a childhood friend that Alvin can’t quite understand. For some reason he had a knack for running into the most unusual people; this one had run away from home without telling anyone, and another had once been a military strategist some number of years ago, when Alvin was still a child. 

Eventually, the time to come clean arrives; the fact that Alvin’s mother was still alive and residing in their current location, Xian Du. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut when he accidentally ran into Isla. The lord of spirits doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest, being suspicious of the man for as long as he can. The others, however, take interest and ask to meet her if it was okay. 

Alvin wants to say “maybe another time”, but he hasn’t seen Leticia in _months,_ and he couldn’t just stroll off again spitting out his usual line of _duty calls_ ; the whole incident with Elize and the poisoning only made Milla more skeptical. He obliges and soon finds himself in front of his mother’s residence. 

How many times has he come here? He can’t remember anymore. He does remember, though, the first time he came to see her; she went on and on about her husband, how he was away on a business trip for so long. In reality, he was _dead_ , but Alvin couldn't bring himself to tell her that. 

From that day on, he'd taken the role of delivering Alfred's words to her, disguised under the name Balan... 

Perhaps that was the worst lie he could have ever told. 

* * *

He writes to her again. He thinks this letter might be the last she ever receives; Isla had informed him that her health was worsening since they left with the wyverns. Alvin stares at the paper, gripping the pen a little too hard. 

How do you fit in what you wanted to say for years into one letter? 

_Mother,_

_I’m graduating soon. I have to take my exams and pack my belongings, but I’m almost there._

_I think once I’m done, I’ll go out on a journey. One that’ll make you happy. The cats will come too, of course. I think they would take such a liking to you._

_Mother… take care, for me, okay? It might be a while until I finish this journey, and until I see you again. But I hope when we do meet again, you’ll be at peace at last._

_I can't wait until I can have your peach pie again._

_Love,_

_Alfred._

Alvin writes the final words slowly, knowing he won’t ever send a letter to his mother again. Then the realization hits: he won't _see_ his mother ever again. 

A single teardrop hits the paper. And then two, three, four more, until he can’t count them anymore. He clears his throat, discarding any traces of sadness like he’s always done his entire life. 

The sylphjay flies off, carrying any trace of happiness he _did_ still have left in him.

* * *

Alvin finds himself in the same damned town that his mother passed away in; he has business work to do here, and his companions had some things to check out as well. It’s been about a year since he wrote his last letter and a few months since he found out Leticia had passed. It hurt like a weight had crushed his heart, but at that part of their journey, he just had to pick up all the pieces and glue it back, good as normal. After all, that was just the type of person Alvin had come to be, right?

He does end up speaking to his mother again, but not in the form of a letter. As much as it hurt him, he stepped out of the bustling city and into the nearby grasslands. He takes a deep breath.

“...Mother, it’s me. Sorry I took so long to graduate.” The now retired mercenary is standing before a stone grave amidst a grassy hilltop. “I didn’t want to see you again like this.” It takes everything for Alvin to not spill over; after all he had to go through to make her happy, after all the things he had to sacrifice, she was _gone._

“Remember the journey I told you I was going on? It wasn't so bad. Milla’s gone to a new home for a while and Jude is doing fine too. Well, that’s not the reason I came here. I wanted to tell you that I’m going on another one.” A single light pink princessia is placed near the grave, tucked neatly underneath her name engraving. Then, he continues. 

“I met someone from Elympios that could use help. It’s funny, isn’t it? That place was always lonely for me, and I never had people to talk to.” If Leticia were still alive, she would probably ramble around the same thing too, how her son was just a lonely boy looking for friends. He could’ve had anything he wanted at the time; the Svents were wealthy and even went on a _cruise_ , but if there was anything Alvin wanted as a child, it was to have a friend. Not just someone to talk to once and never again, not someone that would ask him for something knowing his family background. 

“Mom, I don’t think I’m lonely anymore. Elympios won't be lonely for me either when I return there for good. Because I have people that look out for me now. People that care for me, and they’ll accept me even with all the mistakes I’ve made. I’ll tell you about that another day, though.” 

Alvin straightens his yellow scarf, and then he realizes he forgot to tell her that he’s going to start a business. There really were a million things he wanted to tell her; how he got his father’s golden gun back, how Gilland had finally disappeared from the world. With his business running it would be harder to visit her as often. The sun had unfortunately started to set, meaning that he should probably head back. 

“I think I should get going. I’ll tell you all sorts of stories when I get back. But for now...I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”

The walk back to Xian Du is slow and heavy. He’s tired, sure, but the heavy weighing of his heart makes him want to stay at the grave forever, talking until he couldn’t anymore. And it wasn’t like he could write a letter to her…

“You’re back!” A familiar girl’s voice called out to him from one of the inn windows, her hat nearly flying off. “Dinner is ready whenever you’re ready!” Leia waves with wide arms before closing the window. How in the world she saw him from the bridge was beyond him. 

A familiar figure is standing in front of the inn as if they were waiting for him: Jude is leaning against the wall, his hands in his pocket. 

“How was it?” He asks quietly. 

“I’m fine. I told her a lot of stuff, not everything though. I’d probably spend hours there if that were the case.” 

The researcher gives him a gentle smile, “That’s good. I’m sure we’ll be in and out of this town, so you can visit her whenever you’d like, okay? No need to tell us.” 

Compared to the levels of trust Jude held for him when they first met, this was nowhere near his occasional suspicions and questions. If this was what having trusted friends felt like, he should have given up his act of lying from the very start. 

“Thanks, kid.” He lets Jude go back inside, assuring him that he’d come for dinner soon. The setting sun leaves no trace of its orange and yellow hues; the sky was now a dark blue, illuminated by the lights of people’s homes and dotted stars in the sky. 

His family might be gone now, and in a faraway place he can’t quite reach with his own two hands. At least now, for the first time in his twenty-seven years of life, he had people he could properly call his family without hesitating.

Alvin takes one more look at the stars before departing, one shining brighter than the others. It reminds him of all the times his mother served as the shining beacon in his life when everything had gone wrong. 

Things would be okay now. They had to be, for the sake of Leticia.

“Watch over me mother, okay?”


End file.
